Comments on: Maintaining real relationships online and off: a guide to presence

By: Technotheory.com - Whether you have the time for them or not, you’ve made your decision

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:15:37 +0000

[...] May, 2008: Maintaining real relationships online and off: a guide to presence [...]

By: Technotheory.com - Friend me, don’t spam me: Facebook & LinkedIn don’t excuse junk

Thu, 15 May 2008 15:55:56 +0000

[...] If you really want to get people’s attention, make them feel important [...]

By: Technotheory.com - How to reach out via email without being a kiss-up or a jerk

Technotheory.com - How to reach out via email without being a kiss-up or a jerk — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:52:31 +0000

[...] Maintaining real relationships online and off: a guide to presence I’d love if you’d recommend this on Digg or StumbleUpon! [...]

By: Twitterpated | Kyle Chowning

Twitterpated | Kyle Chowning — Mon, 12 May 2008 04:09:33 +0000

[...] gives me “presence” with friends, coworkers, family and vendors. While I won’t say that it creates or [...]

By: Jared Goralnick

Jared Goralnick — Thu, 08 May 2008 03:16:22 +0000

dcpatton, you’re right that postal mail can be a pain and is difficult to reciprocate. Every once in a while it serves a role–like with the “special card or postcard” as you mentioned–I just think that once in a while could be slightly more often.

But clearly you’re the sort who gets it. The folks who are out leaving warm thoughts on blogs are probably the ones who are thinking of nice things to do to people–via postal mail or otherwise. Thanks for your thoughts!

By: dcpatton

dcpatton — Wed, 07 May 2008 15:37:55 +0000

Jared. Great Post. I agree with almost all of it. One difference for me is the use of Postal Mail. For me it is just not something I want to receive. It seems inefficient and much less personal because it is a one way interaction. I also cringe at the idea of responding via postal mail.

For me, the only time I want postal mail is when it is the only form of communication available to the sender. But that is very rare.

I do feel like the choosing of a special card or postcard can give it more meaning.

By: Jared Goralnick

Jared Goralnick — Wed, 07 May 2008 03:57:23 +0000

You’ve nailed it, Avani! Thank you : )

By: Avani

Avani — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:57:56 +0000

Jared, this is a great point that you have raised. What has worked for me is to actually have a good conversation no matter what the medium is. Be it email, chat, phone call … each deserves attention and should make one feel as if we talked in person later on.

By: Jared Goralnick

Jared Goralnick — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:01:51 +0000

Stephen, it was great meeting you, too. And I really enjoy your disciplined perspective on productivity.

I feel there’s a difference between a tickler file reminder and open back-and-forth. Tickler files are for planning ahead, open-ended questions are for exploring now. I agree that the tickler SHOULD be used with all sorts of relationships to keep things alive (more thoughts on that with you in private perhaps, even an idea for an application), but I think aiming to keep a conversation running is a helpful step.

Thanks for checking in, and looking forward to all the upcoming changes on YOUR blog. Cheers.

By: @Stephen | Productivity in Context

@Stephen | Productivity in Context — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:09:15 +0000

Hey Jared, I am glad that we got to meet at SOBCon. I am working on entering my cards into HighriseHQ and it’s your turn. Saw this: “Productivity dictates that we close loops as quickly as possible. But if the purpose is to build a relationship, real questions (not “how are you?”) are where it’s at.”

I would submit that while Productivity practices do require the closing of open loops, you are being a little too fine-grained. “+E-mailed Jared” may be a closed loop, but in a larger context you have Twitter and perhaps a standing Tickler-file entry to call and renew/brainstorm/etc. to keep the relationship open and growing.

I will definitely be keeping an eye on this as I develop my own meta-community.